Waiting and Smothering

      I don't mean to. I don't know what else to do. She is normal. Nothing is wrong and yet I find myself asking how she is doing every 5 minutes and It's starting to get to her. Always asking her and knowing now how it's making her crazy it reminds me of this:

 What I think I sound like

      On Tuesday she goes in to get a power port and then on Thursday is the first round of chemo. I'm sure it will get worse with me but at least after that I will have purpose. This week up to then it's anything she wants to eat on the possible chance her taste buds betray her after treatment starts.

      One week to go and then...who know's. She could be just fine through all of this. I keep telling myself that. Hope for the best and plan for the worst right. Trying to keep busy and not constantly asking her "the question". This place is going to be so clean.