Not a good start to the day. Slept like crap because my mind kept racing. She was getting anxious last night before bed, I could tell, but said she was fine. I think that's what got me going. I had this recurring thought of getting to the doc's on Tuesday and his explaining to us that it was all a mistake and that they are just cysts. She's going to be fine! That's my 1% chance of happening part of my brain talking to me, teasing me, telling me it's all good man! Then we flip to the dark side and now the kind happy doc is telling us how sorry he is to have to be the one to tell us this but it's stage 4 and she only has minutes to live. See now even when I'm not trying my brain decides that if it's gonna play with me using the dark side it's going to use a little humor. Thanks brain!
Still we wait till tomorrow trying not to listen to the voices in our heads. Being together helps. When alone one tends to fixate on the possible good OR the probable bad. At least I do. Having Xander here today will be a help in that department. -40 wind chill shuts down schools I guess. I don't remember that growing up. No shoes, both ways, uphill and all that.
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