She Is Borg?

      The title may catch a few (or more than a few) of you off guard saying "huh"? You'll understand in a minute. Continuing from my last post I got a call from her around 10am the next morning saying that she was visited by three ghosts, the first, arriving at midnight,er, wait wrong story. She was visited throughout the night by doctors and students. The nursing staff was awesome and she was so relieved (pardon the pun) to get the catheter out around 3am. Walking was a tad uncomfortable to say the least. She told me that she was able to leave sometime between 11:30 and 1PM. So naturally I was there at exactly 11:30. If you'll remember I am anything if not punctual. It's a curse. She was just about to get a visit from the pharmacy tech to go over medications she would be taking. We were shown how to take care of her drains and her IV was removed. She was dressed and we were out of there by 12:30. Now the drains reminded me of borg implants from Star Trek. Non biological equipment surgically attached or implanted in ones body. And I was going to have to handle the drains on a daily basis.

      Honestly there are just 2 tubes coming out of her left side connected to drainage bulbs that look like transparent grenades which are seated in a special camisole which has pockets on the inside. But this is the first thing I thought of. I like Star Trek. Can you tell? Especially the episode when Picard was assimilated by the borg and became Locutus...sorry off topic. It's hard to describe emptying the drains.  After emptying the grenade into the measured container CAREFULLY pinch the tube near the insertion point and with your other hand pinch the tube and slide your fingers down the length of tubing to expel the fluid in the tube all while not tugging on the tube itself otherwise screaming and punching will occur. Once done squeeze the grenade and recap it so that suction will again take place. Replace the grenade into the pocket of the camisole and repeat with the other grenade. 2-3 times daily and record the output. To have the drains removed her daily output should be between 10 and 20 cc's. Here is a helpful graphic for you :)

      We got her home after a somewhat bumpy construction laden car ride which she tolerated rather well. Drugs are wonderful things. I got her setup in the recliner and prepped the apartment. TV tray next to her chair with her kindle, phone, water (lots of water) and you know the little cups that you get with NyQuil for measuring dosage? Yeah I used that for medication dispersal. List of meds on the fridge and times taken. I was set and organised. First two nights she slept in the recliner and then tried the bed. Nope, back to the recliner. Then her back started hurting in the mornings. Back to the bed with a different pillow configuration. Better but still back issues. To the recliner which I fear will be here sleeping partner for the time being. 

Need one of these...anyone??

      The dogs, who LOVE to cuddle up with her in the recliner on a normal day have been a challenge. Xander has been helpful keeping them at bay but sometimes Belle finds a way to jump up there before you can stop her. Here new middle name is DOWN. Molly is too big but has in the past jumped up to try and pretend she is a lapdog. Usually puttle a paw on the arm of the chair as if to ask permission. She hasn't been a problem thus far.

But I'm comfy

      Becca has been off her pain meds basically since Saturday. But I have a chart on the fridge, with numbers, all organised and neat. I said this in my head. I knew it wouldn't be long before she resorted to just Tylenol for her pain needs. Always been like that. She's been up and walking probably more than she should be but you can't keep this woman down I tell you. I have stopped asking how she is doing because she hates that. We went to see the plastic surgeon yesterday and the nurse removed the first drain. Yay!! One down and one to go. Probably next week when we see the surgeon. He wasn't there this last time. We are cautiously optimistic that if she doesn't require radiation that she might have her reconstruction sometime in September which would be fine with her. 

      Oh forgot to mention. Was helping her wash her back the day after she came home and found this little word on her right shoulder. Not sure what this was from but we had a good chuckle over it. I mean it's on her BACK. Still trying to figure out why. You'd think it would say NO as in don't cut on this side.

      She desperately wants to be fully healed so she can get back in shape. She's hating how big she's feeling. Knowing her she'll shed like 30 pounds by December. Today she is insisting we go to the movies. Guardians of the Galaxy. She was afraid she wouldn't be able to see it in the theater but she's feeling so good and little to no pain so off we go. Speaking of it's time to get ready. Till next time my little gumdrops.

Honestly It's Not Too Bad

      Oh where to begin. Let's rewind to the day of surgery. Left the house in good spirits around 6:30 and because of traffic got there about 7:45. Only had to wait a few minutes and we were brought back to her day surgery room where she changed and vitals were taken. She was put into a nifty gown that was hooked up to a personal AC/heating unit. How awesome is that? She got to regulate her temp so when she had a hot flash she could lower the temp. She now wants one at home.

      Xander and I went off to have a bite to eat while she was being prepped. She went to radiology to get her nodes mapped and was back in about an hour. She wasn't in the room for 10 minutes and a nurse walks in. "They are ready for you." she says. This was about 10:30. Her surgery was scheduled for 12:25. No time for meaningful goodbyes. In comes the anesthetic team for consent forms to sign. A quick kiss and away she goes. I had this feeling like I've given you our money and you have taken my wife...somewhere. I swear officer I did not hire them to kidnap my wife.

      So begins the hours of waiting. I decided to take Xander out to McDonalds for a little normalcy during this time and upon our return I get a call from the hospital. So soon? Did they have to stop for some reason? Is she hemorrhaging? A million other scenarios frashed through my head in a second. The nurse told me that Dr. Kong had removed 4 nodes and that the biopsies were negative. NEGATIVE for cancer!! I was so happy I couldn't think straight. Not good when driving. Composed again I said thank you and hung up. I told Xander the news and he smiled. I was a bit teary eyed but wanted to get back asap. At some point I got turned around and we were heading away from the hospital. Remember couldn't think straight? So I turned around and headed back to...wait.

      It was around 2 that Dr. Kong came out and said everything went perfect! The skin and tissue looks great and that the pathology on the tissue would be done with results on Monday and she is very hopeful about those results. She didn't come right out and say it but I could tell she really wanted to say that with a negative result from the breast tissue that radiation would not be necessary. This is extremely good news to me. Becca not to so much because for her, if she didn't get radiation, she would always wonder in the back of her head if she should have. Especially if it comes back. Got some more thinking to do. Can't do this right now.

      Now it's a waiting game again with the plastic surgeon. Now I was told that it shouldn't take more than an hour and he had been in there before Kong came out so I'm figuring around 3ish. He came out around 4 and for anyone who knows me knows I am a planner and I keep to schedules. Becca hates it but it's what I do. So that extra hour was pissing me off and making me worry. He finally came out and said it couldn't have gone better! Yes! Of course he followed that up with a big ole "but". Crap! No fair. Can't follow up something like this with a "but". How about I try that with "But... you're beginning to damage my calm!" Apparently there was a slip of the scissors when cutting the adhesive around her other breast and a small inch long or so cut was made. That was it. he felt so bad about it and I was like "That's it???" I'm kinda OK with that. Seriously with all the things that could have gone wrong and you make a boo boo like that? No problemo dude!

      Now we wait again being told that we should have a room assignment in about 20 minutes and she would be in recovery for about an hour and brought up to her room. People need to stop giving me times. An hour and a half later I ask about the room and the woman says "oh right, yes, she will be in room 13 (Really? 13th floor too?) 7th floor north tower. Still wondering what was going on with her we head over and after buying a bunch of balloons that I was told I HAD to get (thanks facebook) we got to her room about 2 minutes before she did. She looked ok. Drugged with a droopy left eye but OK! We spent some time catching up with all that had been done. Results and how she's feeling and left around 7 to let her get some rest.

      In the exciting conclusion...our trip home and sleeping arrangements, drains (gross) and how we are feeling about the change in her body. More to come. :) Right now we are just so very happy!!

The Road Ahead

      Yesterday we traveled once more to Froederdt and met with a couple nurses to explain EVERYTHING that will happen next Wednesday and beyond. Had voices coming at us seemingly from every direction explaining the timeline, restrictions after, what to do before and something about flying but it's not important and that's why they don't explain the problems with flying anymore. (?) All I know right now is that she has 3 days before she has to be a good girl. So anything she wants to do or have before Tuesday night I'm making it happen.
      Wednesday morning at 5 am we will be getting up and ready. Her bag will already be packed with her essentials (Kindle, charger, phone etc ;)) along with the fashionable camisole they provided for comfort and to hold the drains. We have to be there at 7 so Becca can get the sentinel nodes identified through mapping using a radioactive dye and the surgery is at 12:25. Should take about 3-4 hours. During the surgery the surgical oncologist will locate the sentinel nodes and remove 2-3. These will be sent to pathology while the mastectomy is done. Once the lab results come back hopefully negative that will be that and the plastic surgeon will step in and place the tissue expander. If the results come back positive the axillary nodes will be removed. This would increase her chances of getting lymphedema.
      Plenty of restrictions after her hospital stay of 1-2 nights. Pain management is a big part of her coming home. She's the kind of person who won't speak up about pain so I've been reinforcing the fact that she will need to VERY honest about her pain. No playing the tough chic. The drains (2-3 of them) will be in for a few weeks and I get to drain and record the volume 4 times a day. FUN! It's actually quite easy so no worries. The reconstruction won't be till some time after radiation after she is fully healed from it's effects. This could be a year or more. Until then she will have the expander in place to hold the shape of the breast. A couple weeks after surgery we'll go back and the plastic surgeon will inject saline into it to get the right size. We'll go and do this a few times because they can't inflate it all at once.
      Oh yeah she can't drive for the first few weeks and has lifting and arm restrictions. I am the cook for awhile so I hope they can get used to take out lol. In other family news I am happy to report that Xander has received about 65 or so cards for the card shower! He still has no idea what is going on and we have only given him about 15 over the course of the last week. We're saving the bulk for his birthday. Everyone who has sent one has been so wonderful and have written so many nice comments about him and the type of man he's becoming. Thank you to everyone who has sent one and if you know someone who hasn't please question them about it lol. It's not too late to be apart of this!
      I'll be providing updates on FB the day of surgery but probably won't be making another blog post for about a week after. Let you all in on how things are going with Becca and her road to recovery. Keep thinking NEGATIVE thoughts (you know what I mean) and keep her in your thoughts. Thanks again for reading and keeping up with us. Much love to all of you! Until next time my little gumdrops...

13 Days Till The Great Boob-Off!

      I shouldn't say boob-off as she will still have it. I guess they take like a larger version of a classic ice cream scoop and just scoop out all the tissue. The expander will go in and she will have to go back every week or so and have it filled more until it's the size she wants (no not bigger unfortunately ;) ). She will be in the hospital 1-2 nights depending on how she feels. I told her take the extra day if she wants to but of course she's thinking about Xander and doesn't want to come home ON his birthday. Isn't she a peach? Much like her head I guess but the hair is a bit longer and darker now.
      Radiation will take place probably the end of August or first week in September. After that, well, not too sure but what we do now know thanks to her wonderful plastic surgeon is that the actual reconstruction will be a year to a year and a half from now. This news SUCKED!! I felt so bad for her. All we knew before this was her oncologist saying she should be all done by thanksgiving. We assumed all done ment ALL DONE. Talk about a bummer. She'll get used to the idea in time, just like her head and the hair loss.
      Now it's a sit and wait kinda thing. We are going to try and do some stuff the next couple weekends to make up for her losing the rest of the summer. Chicago this weekend and next weekend we're still deciding on. We are throwing Xander a card shower for his birthday since she won't be up to celebrate. 18 cards so far! We are excited to be doing this for him. He's been amazing throughout this whole year. If you haven't heard about this and would like to send him a birthday card the address is 1706 Birchwood st. #6 Delavan WI 53115.
      Sorry for not getting a post in for awhile. I'm sure with all the new things happening with the surgery and her being home for a month I will have more material to work with. Thinking I might get her a bell to ring when she needs something. That experience could be a post on it's own! Be well and stay safe! Until next time America. (Points to whomever can name who coined that phrase)

End of Chaper One

      Thursday this week is the LAST chemo treatment!! This part of her journey is over and she has come through with flying colors. We met with her surgical oncologist yesterday and after the examination she said she couldn't feel anything. NOTHING! She's not even going to bother with any scans. I heard this and immediately I'm thinking um, yes scans, scan her now please. I know the doctor knows what she's doing but I want conformation.

      Anyways on to the fun part. Proceed with operation Information Overload. Let's start with radiation. I should preface this with saying I am going to tell you all I remember and understand. There are aspects that I don't quite get but I'll do my best. Radiation is standard practice and we knew that going in. However we were told that it is a likelihood and there is a possibility that she would not have to have it. This I clung onto like a scared kid and his favorite stuffed animal. Now IF she has radiation depends on clinical trials that she is eligible for. Normally, because she had two lymph nodes test positive, the whole lymph node structure in her armpit would be removed. Now this has a 30% chance of leaving her with Lymphedema. That's like 1 in 3.

      Now the clinical trials are trying to prove that you don't have to take the whole thing and can just take out those nodes that positive. If she chooses the trial she has a 75% chance of not...hold on. Still trying to figure this out. Here...this is what Becca says about it. "Now, with this clinical trial, I might not have to have that risk.  See, they'd test the nodes during surgery and whether they turned out positive for cancer or not would throw me into a whole randomized flow chart of possible treatments, 75% of which do not include this part of the surgery.  One of which doesn't even include radiation." FUN!

      Oh I forgot to mention that because it's a clinical trial everything has to be done in controlled environment including all equipment. Which means it would have to be done at authorized facilities. All of which are at least 40 minutes away. Now for the best part. If radiation is necessary it would have to be done, as part of the trial, most likely at Froederdt, EVERY WEEKDAY FOR FIVE WEEKS. That's about 750.00 in gas and about 2500 miles put on the car. If she chooses not to be in the trial she still has to go to Froederdt however AND she's back to the 1 out of 3. We thought this part after chemo would be easy. HA!

      We will be talking it over this week and let the oncologist know next week. Lots to process. With that being said Becca's hair is coming back fast! It's good to see. All the docs have been saying she is the poster child for cancer treatment. I'll add a photo if she'll let me. Thanks for reading and keeping up with our journey. All the thoughts and well wishes, all the words of encouragement and financial support has been fantastic. Remember to tell everyone you know about the fundraiser. We could not get through this without each and every one of you.

I Married An Idiot pt.2

      Yup it's worse. Chemo does some really weird things to the brain. She's so frustrated not being able to come up with words like she used to. Does make for some interesting conversations. Most of the time sit back and let her stumble around in her head thinking of the word she wants to say cause...funny. She used to be very intelligent and she still is deep down. Just being suppressed I imagine. She'll be back. Today she's getting her 10th treatment which means only 2 left after today. End is in sight! We have an appointment with the doc over at Froederdt on the 24th to go over where we go from here and whether or not radiation is needed.
      Her hair is coming back as well as her eye lashes. It's a nice reminder that this part is almost over. Hot flashes are a pain and she's not sleeping as well as she should be because of them. Afraid it might be like that for the foreseeable future because of the early onset menopause that she's been sent into. Blood pressure is another issue. She's always run low with that but chemo sends it even lower. To combat that she's drinking a ton of water a day. When she doesn't get enough she acts like she's in slow motion or drugged. Now that with her mental faculties impaired is like trying to converse with a 5 year old who just woke up.
      She's the one who has to go through all this. Xander and I have ring side seats. She's doing this to stay with us and wants us to do the same just in another way. How do you say no to that? Therefore we have begun eating better. No refined sugars. No white flour. Lots of fresh stuff. you know...no fun :) It hasn't been all bad. She's been finding some really good recipes. And we now have a couple planter boxes with 4 different herbs growing. Whatever we have to do to stay together I'm good with it. But whole wheat toast with my eggs?? Nope.
       We now know how much we owe for the year and won't be charged anymore. The fundraiser has stalled and I'm not sure how to proceed. We want to pay the bills in full and the hospitals have been good for now excepting what we can give. All in all we are still about 12,000 short which causes me to stress at times. I just keep reminding myself that you do what we can and if they get pushy they won't get a dime. Been bankrupt before we can get though it again if we have to. I imagine what would have happened if we didn't have insurance. We had thought about taking a year off because the premiums were so high this time. Glad we didn't.
      As always much love to you all. Share the fundraiser. Still looking for that one person out there that has the resources to put an end to it all. I can tell you this. If we are ever in a position to help someone else, believe me, we will be doing just that.

Super small post

      So since February when she started chemo Becca has been the model patient. Excelling in all her numbers and counts. Little to no side effects although those have been on the rise as of late. But all in all she's been doing very well. And this week has been no exception except for two changes to report. She now has a full head of peach fuzz with some stubble in the back by her neck. Nursing staff today were happy about that. Her white cell count was low again. Not low enough to stop treatments....yet. Doc isn't too worried but will be keeping a close eye on those numbers. 4 more weeks to go! Like I said. Small post but will update if anything changes. Remember to keep posting the fundraiser link and hopefully we can annoy new people into donating :) Lots of love to all of you and have a GREAT weekend!