I Married An Idiot pt.2

      Yup it's worse. Chemo does some really weird things to the brain. She's so frustrated not being able to come up with words like she used to. Does make for some interesting conversations. Most of the time sit back and let her stumble around in her head thinking of the word she wants to say cause...funny. She used to be very intelligent and she still is deep down. Just being suppressed I imagine. She'll be back. Today she's getting her 10th treatment which means only 2 left after today. End is in sight! We have an appointment with the doc over at Froederdt on the 24th to go over where we go from here and whether or not radiation is needed.
      Her hair is coming back as well as her eye lashes. It's a nice reminder that this part is almost over. Hot flashes are a pain and she's not sleeping as well as she should be because of them. Afraid it might be like that for the foreseeable future because of the early onset menopause that she's been sent into. Blood pressure is another issue. She's always run low with that but chemo sends it even lower. To combat that she's drinking a ton of water a day. When she doesn't get enough she acts like she's in slow motion or drugged. Now that with her mental faculties impaired is like trying to converse with a 5 year old who just woke up.
      She's the one who has to go through all this. Xander and I have ring side seats. She's doing this to stay with us and wants us to do the same just in another way. How do you say no to that? Therefore we have begun eating better. No refined sugars. No white flour. Lots of fresh stuff. you know...no fun :) It hasn't been all bad. She's been finding some really good recipes. And we now have a couple planter boxes with 4 different herbs growing. Whatever we have to do to stay together I'm good with it. But whole wheat toast with my eggs?? Nope.
       We now know how much we owe for the year and won't be charged anymore. The fundraiser has stalled and I'm not sure how to proceed. We want to pay the bills in full and the hospitals have been good for now excepting what we can give. All in all we are still about 12,000 short which causes me to stress at times. I just keep reminding myself that you do what we can and if they get pushy they won't get a dime. Been bankrupt before we can get though it again if we have to. I imagine what would have happened if we didn't have insurance. We had thought about taking a year off because the premiums were so high this time. Glad we didn't.
      As always much love to you all. Share the fundraiser. Still looking for that one person out there that has the resources to put an end to it all. I can tell you this. If we are ever in a position to help someone else, believe me, we will be doing just that.