End of Chaper One

      Thursday this week is the LAST chemo treatment!! This part of her journey is over and she has come through with flying colors. We met with her surgical oncologist yesterday and after the examination she said she couldn't feel anything. NOTHING! She's not even going to bother with any scans. I heard this and immediately I'm thinking um, yes scans, scan her now please. I know the doctor knows what she's doing but I want conformation.

      Anyways on to the fun part. Proceed with operation Information Overload. Let's start with radiation. I should preface this with saying I am going to tell you all I remember and understand. There are aspects that I don't quite get but I'll do my best. Radiation is standard practice and we knew that going in. However we were told that it is a likelihood and there is a possibility that she would not have to have it. This I clung onto like a scared kid and his favorite stuffed animal. Now IF she has radiation depends on clinical trials that she is eligible for. Normally, because she had two lymph nodes test positive, the whole lymph node structure in her armpit would be removed. Now this has a 30% chance of leaving her with Lymphedema. That's like 1 in 3.

      Now the clinical trials are trying to prove that you don't have to take the whole thing and can just take out those nodes that positive. If she chooses the trial she has a 75% chance of not...hold on. Still trying to figure this out. Here...this is what Becca says about it. "Now, with this clinical trial, I might not have to have that risk.  See, they'd test the nodes during surgery and whether they turned out positive for cancer or not would throw me into a whole randomized flow chart of possible treatments, 75% of which do not include this part of the surgery.  One of which doesn't even include radiation." FUN!

      Oh I forgot to mention that because it's a clinical trial everything has to be done in controlled environment including all equipment. Which means it would have to be done at authorized facilities. All of which are at least 40 minutes away. Now for the best part. If radiation is necessary it would have to be done, as part of the trial, most likely at Froederdt, EVERY WEEKDAY FOR FIVE WEEKS. That's about 750.00 in gas and about 2500 miles put on the car. If she chooses not to be in the trial she still has to go to Froederdt however AND she's back to the 1 out of 3. We thought this part after chemo would be easy. HA!

      We will be talking it over this week and let the oncologist know next week. Lots to process. With that being said Becca's hair is coming back fast! It's good to see. All the docs have been saying she is the poster child for cancer treatment. I'll add a photo if she'll let me. Thanks for reading and keeping up with our journey. All the thoughts and well wishes, all the words of encouragement and financial support has been fantastic. Remember to tell everyone you know about the fundraiser. We could not get through this without each and every one of you.

I Married An Idiot pt.2

      Yup it's worse. Chemo does some really weird things to the brain. She's so frustrated not being able to come up with words like she used to. Does make for some interesting conversations. Most of the time sit back and let her stumble around in her head thinking of the word she wants to say cause...funny. She used to be very intelligent and she still is deep down. Just being suppressed I imagine. She'll be back. Today she's getting her 10th treatment which means only 2 left after today. End is in sight! We have an appointment with the doc over at Froederdt on the 24th to go over where we go from here and whether or not radiation is needed.
      Her hair is coming back as well as her eye lashes. It's a nice reminder that this part is almost over. Hot flashes are a pain and she's not sleeping as well as she should be because of them. Afraid it might be like that for the foreseeable future because of the early onset menopause that she's been sent into. Blood pressure is another issue. She's always run low with that but chemo sends it even lower. To combat that she's drinking a ton of water a day. When she doesn't get enough she acts like she's in slow motion or drugged. Now that with her mental faculties impaired is like trying to converse with a 5 year old who just woke up.
      She's the one who has to go through all this. Xander and I have ring side seats. She's doing this to stay with us and wants us to do the same just in another way. How do you say no to that? Therefore we have begun eating better. No refined sugars. No white flour. Lots of fresh stuff. you know...no fun :) It hasn't been all bad. She's been finding some really good recipes. And we now have a couple planter boxes with 4 different herbs growing. Whatever we have to do to stay together I'm good with it. But whole wheat toast with my eggs?? Nope.
       We now know how much we owe for the year and won't be charged anymore. The fundraiser has stalled and I'm not sure how to proceed. We want to pay the bills in full and the hospitals have been good for now excepting what we can give. All in all we are still about 12,000 short which causes me to stress at times. I just keep reminding myself that you do what we can and if they get pushy they won't get a dime. Been bankrupt before we can get though it again if we have to. I imagine what would have happened if we didn't have insurance. We had thought about taking a year off because the premiums were so high this time. Glad we didn't.
      As always much love to you all. Share the fundraiser. Still looking for that one person out there that has the resources to put an end to it all. I can tell you this. If we are ever in a position to help someone else, believe me, we will be doing just that.